Game: Zenodyne R, Team Grybanser Fox, 2016, PCBeer: Lagunitas Stoopid Wit, 12 fl. oz., 6.3% abv
# of beers consumed during play: Two, but that was definitely enough.
Level Reached: 4. Definitely 4. Or was it 5? No...probably 3.
Level of Intoxication: Woozy
Game
Zenodyne R is a game that you wouldn't otherwise know about, if it weren't for word-of-mouth. In fact, I heard about this game through a friend of mine, who happened to be doing some art for the game. Please note, that while I know and have interacted with the people who have worked on this game, this in no way changes my opinions, and I will still review this game with the same fair, unbiased nuclear fire and boiling vitriol I would afford any other game. Rest assured, here at Games 'N Beer, we keep our torches lit and our pitchforks sharp. Now, all things considered; and the fact that this game is born from a studio that was literally formed on a whim, I have to say that what has come out of said whim is damn impressive, and I say that with no hesitation. Grybanser Fox is the very definition of an indie studio, and is an example of what can happen when a bunch of strangers from all over the world communicate using the internet to make a game on a budget that hovers very close to zero.
Gameplay
Zenodyne R is blisteringly fast, wildly unpredictable, and harshly unforgiving. While in some gamer circles, that may have just sounded like an epitaph of a review, every single Shmup fan reading this just sat straight up in their chairs and opened a new tab so they could Google this game. For anyone who isn't a Shoot-em-up or "Shmup" fan, allow me to narrow this down a bit. Zenodyne R (heretofore known as ZDR because acronyms are cool) is what's affectionately known as a "bullet-hell" shooter. This means instead of picking daisies around the playing field and every once in a while shooting an enemy, you are weaving through wave after hellish wave of glowing bullets, and constantly firing in hopes that you'll hit an enemy before they have a chance to shoot. While there are "fire-curtain" shooters which feature slower movement, more elaborate bullet patterns, and a lower emphasis on enemies, ZDR instead focuses on the other end of the spectrum: huge clusters of fast bullets, overwhelming numbers of enemies, and extremely random and frenetic gameplay. Unless you are a Shmup aficionado of the highest order, it is guaranteed that your face will be melted off by laser fire in the first half of the first level. This game is fast. I'm talking "Biff Tannen at prom" fast. This game's tutorial is about 10 seconds long as first one, then a few, then a complete barrage of enemies descend upon you, guns blazing. In that scant 10 seconds, each attack intensifies exponentially, pushing the player further and further out of their comfort zone, and filling the screen with digital panic pellets. Once that wave passes, the player is given only half a second to regain their composure before yet another wave of tougher and faster enemies appear onscreen to perpetuate the player's suffering. Thus, with this framework in place, ZDR sets out to humiliate you and your supposed "skills" with highly precise yet infuriatingly random walls of death. In practice, the player rides a sine wave of encounters through each level, fighting clusters of enemies, sub-bosses, more enemies, level bosses, yet more enemies, and more laser fire than you've ever seen outside a Star Wars movie.
Since the player's world will be consumed with enemy projectiles from start to finish, I'd like to take a moment to discuss them in a bit more detail. There are several different types of enemy danger-dots, and after a few hours playing, all will fall into loose categories such as "utter bullshit" and "FFFFFFUUUUU--". My personal favorite is a projectile I like to call "hell no" and it's a tiny red laser beam, usually fired in medium to large groupings, that travels at approximately the speed of WTF. This little red beam has been the nexus of many fits of rage, where I'll lean back in my chair, flail my arms against unseen assailants, and then quickly return to the game before my new ship spawns. Such displays of momentary frustration are the norm for a game like this, and help to reinforce the notion that this game is angry about something, it wants to share with you, and the only way to make it feel better is a 1-credit-clear. Of course, for all but the most hardest of the hardcore, this game will spank you handily and repeatedly and any musings as fanciful as a 1cc will remain far out of reach. I'll say it now, if you are adverse to losing in a game, ZDR will only reinforce that feeling. On the other hand, if you want to train the frustration out of yourself, or if you are a Shmup fan who enjoys a very good challenge, ZDR may just fit the bill. The truth of the matter is, ZDR is very much a "git gud" type of game, and for those who aspire to extra-tall levels of gud, ZDR is going to satisfy in spades. As you play through the game and die, you will see that you are slowly amassing points. If you hazard a glance at the Unlock list, you'll notice these points accrue in a decidedly tier-like manner to grant periodic bonuses upon players obstinate enough to dash their pride against this game's rocky shores. These bonuses range from new ships and characters, to extra continues, different modes, and even bits of backstory. These little breadcrumbs, spread fairly judiciously, add a good reason to keep diving back into the fray, and given to the fact that you will be playing the same levels over and over for a while...you will notice you are starting to improve bit by agonizing bit. This progression--not in the game, but in the player themselves--is something I harp on frequently as it is one of the core reasons we as humans play games. At their very heart, games are places where we can test ourselves and measure our improvement in a relatively consequence-free environment. Games are core to our development in childhood as tools for figuring out what works and what doesn't when faced with a problem. Now, I'm not saying ZDR is any sort of educational tool...although it could definitely be used as a final exam in an anger management class. What I am saying is that the framework is there for those players who want to challenge themselves, and is probably going to be wildly popular with hardcore Shmup fans that want to push their own envelopes and measure their own badassery.
Aside from a yardstick with which to measure one's gaming acumen, ZDR offers a great many levels that you are not going to see unless you either kick ass at this game or have the tenacity of an angry honey-badger. After playing and playing, you will have either enough credits to struggle to later levels, or if you are truly and utterly determined, you can earn unlimited credits that will finally allow you to see the game's myriad stages. Although by this time, you're probably so good at the game you won't need them. Therein lies an intrinsic chink in ZDR's armor that will necessarily limit it to an enthusiast-class game. The challenge is so high, and the barrier to game completion so obdurate, that only a few gamers will be hardcore enough to stick with it. One facet of this is the boss encounters, which are multi-tiered exercises in highly coordinated misery. While the rest of the enemies in this game are fast, the bosses in this game are faster by quite a reach, and they fire positively withering volleys of ouch-balls. Each boss has several different forms, and each form is a class in how to explode player ships. Interestingly, there are a couple different boss forms that I've encountered that break convention and pretty much just sit there, letting you wail on them until they run out of hitpoints and change again. Also interestingly, and for reasons we've discussed, I don't wait around for them to get their shit together, because I figure their attack will be that much more terrifying. Lest you snicker, bosses truly do have a distinct air of intimidation around them, even if you've fought them before. This is thanks to a few different factors, from the Ikaruga-like warning banner that pops up before a boss fight, to the theme change, to the fact that everything up to this point has been hell in a handbasket. The bosses themselves dart around randomly, pepper the entire screen with "utter bullshits" and "hell nos", and basically make life sucky for anyone shooting toward the top of the screen. They usually take between three and four different forms, and only once you've proven that you had more continues than they had bullets, you'll be allowed to proceed to the next level. I will say that defeating one of these monstrosities is hugely satisfying, particularly if you managed to do it without dying, and the resultant shower of bling sweetens the victory as your score multiplier swings dramatically upward.
Another wrinkle in ZDR that affects the entire playing field is the option partway through a level to choose either the easy or hard difficulty. The screen splits into a green half, and a red half, and by steering your ship into either zone, you choose the difficulty for the remainder of that section. The difference between the two difficulties is somewhat staggering at first, as the waves of enemies shoot fewer projectiles at a time, they are easier to destroy, and their movement patterns are slower and less erratic. The problem is, while the easy paths are a nice set of training wheels, they don't represent what the game is truly aiming for. Learning this game on easy is a completely different experience from learning it on hard. Because so many facets of the game are different between the two difficulties, if you complete a run on easy, and then do another on hard, you will experience two truly different games. From the added frequency and number of projectiles, to the hardiness of the actual enemies, to the fact that all bosses now have a "true" form; the hard mode in ZDR is designed from the ground up to be the ultimate vision of its creator. From a personal standpoint, even though I don't stand a chance against this game on my best day, I choose the hard mode every single time, because if I'm going to go out, at least I'm gonna see some fireworks before I leave. You even get extra points for going hard, so c'mon, don't be a weenie-baby...push right and let the bullets wash over you.
Though I constantly harp on about how cruel this game is, I should state that there are some small but very clear concessions made to the benefit of the player. Because even torture chambers can be fair, you are given bombs that damage enemies and completely clear the screen of bullets. You're given two at the start, and can collect many more through pickups scattered about each level. The natural tendency is to completely forget about your bombs until you die at the hands of a wall of death, at which point you respawn and then use all of them within the next 7-30 seconds. While this is essentially a staple of all Shmups, ZDR gets extra points for their bomb icons being angry skulls. Another nice thing the game does is provide powerups for your main weapon, which can be collected in succession to increase both the fire rate and damage your weapon does. Unfortunately, there isn't a huge indication of when this happens, although you might hear your "pew-pew" get faster or notice enemies explode sooner. One thing that should be mentioned about powerups (not bombs) is that if you resist the urge to collect them right away, not only do they block enemy projectiles, but when collected, turn all enemy fire into score-a-licious medals. While this might seem like a small addition, in a game as frantic as this, a temporary floating bullet sponge is a goddamn godsend. The game has many of these types of reprieves, and the more you die and replay the levels, the more you'll notice the little candies strewn about. I won't spoil them all, but a couple touches I particularly like is the Punch-Out-esque gleam certain bosses give right before launching into an attack, and the pulsing hitbox that indicates the one tiny cluster of pixels on your own ship that actually matters. These teeny little zen cookies in an avalanche of fiery madness are the means by which you eek out some form of victory against the overwhelming odds before you.
Lastly, as a focused nod toward all the three-letter heroes, ZDR has a score-driven subgame that incorporates kills, score multipliers (the shiny medals you always see hemorrhaging off dead enemies), convoluted calculations, and never continuing upon death. In most circles in the Shmup genre, this game is the truly important one, the almighty high score. The honor and glory that comes from topping a shooter's high score table is the reason many players out there still keep their skills sharp. In fact, most true Shmup fans have at least one story of the time they battled some unseen foe for weeks, knowing nothing more about them than the three little letters they left next to their score. Of course, in the truncated language of leaderboards and hi-score tables, "ROB" or "BAD" or "ASS" or even the dreaded "AAA" speaks volumes. I cannot fully articulate the frustration I would feel when I would spend days and dollars clawing my way up the high scores at the local 7-11, only to walk in one day and see my score utterly trounced by someone who didn't even bother to punch in their initials. For me, it was always Alpha Mission II and Galaga, for others it may have been DoDonPachi, 1943, or In The Hunt. In some alternate universe, it could have been ZDR. Unfortunately, ZDR doesn't have online leaderboards, so you're largely left to play with yourself. You may be more or less familiar with this concept depending on your social/dating status. One thing definitely runs true though, in all of its facets, ZDR is a hardcore Shmup made by hardcore Shmup fans for hardcore Shmup fans.
Graphics/Sound
One of the taglines you may see if you look this game up is that ZDR uses "blast processing." Some of you may be old enough to remember the Sega Genesis and the fact that it also used blast processing, which was a fancy way of saying they paid their marketing team life-changing sums of money. In the case of ZDR however, saying it uses blast processing is a clever way of hinting at the fact this game would run on Genesis hardware. In fact, if you have spent any appreciable amount of time with the machine that made Sonic the Hedgehog famous, you'll recognize the color palette and will instantly be transported back to a time when box art was used to decide on a $50 purchase. In ZDR, the sprites are all highly detailed, and have a wonderful art style that evokes memories of mid-90's-era arcade shooters. The enemy ships have a bulbous appearance that outlines the fact they are alien and not nice, and more than a few times, I would be turned into vapor because I'd been eyeballing the features of some intricately rendered death machine. Explosions are bright and punchy, and often, when something explodes, the blast pattern is randomized, which makes for a nice touch. There's nothing I like better than random explosions, as I'm sure anyone who has watched Mythbusters can agree. The sprites all take advantage of scaling and rotation, and so turrets and enemy ships can track and vector straight at you. The effect is subtle, and certainly increases the feeling of having an entire enemy armada aiming right at your face. I will say the backgrounds don't have quite the same panache as the rest of the graphics, and some elements clash with others. Certain color combinations are frankly eye-searing, and background transitions usually take place through a fade effect, making the move from one background to the next a bit jarring at times. I will say that this game is so fast, and the demands put on the player so great, that the backgrounds in this game will drop into the periphery and be much less of a concern than other titles. Still, I can't discount how many times my immersion had been broken by signs scattered through the levels, proclaiming "Hangar" or "Dock", when really, there's no need for it. As I said before though, the player will usually be too busy getting not-dead to really notice and have time to critique the issues with the backgrounds. And thanks to some high fidelity samples, the game keeps you immersed quite easily.
It may be the nostalgic old man inside me, but the sound design in this game is solid as a rock. From the oddly symmetric sound effects as the title screen comes through, to the bold, multilayered music tracks, this game's sound is a treat for anyone who remembers the unique sound of the Sega Genesis. True to the old console, there aren't any instruments per-se, but more of a carefully synthesized approximation that sounds like a cross between a cello and a dying frog. I will say that I've never heard such incredible arrangements on the old Genny that I hear in ZDR, and that half my enjoyment is listening to the creative use of different sounds to generate pulsing, alien-inspired melodies. Hearing these bio-robotic scales co-mingle as I stare down a wall of laser death is something that is hard to accurately describe, and I will say a huge part of the feeling it brings on is rooted in nostalgia. But that--in my opinion at least--is a good thing; it means Team GBF got it right. People who remember the unforgiving console shooters from back in the day will feel right at home, thanks in large part to the sounds and music this game is inspired with. Frequently while playing, I would find myself bopping along to the music, riding a game-playing groove in the electric beats and catchy loops on offer. The sound effects are of a similar polish, with explody sounds being tight and energetic, enemy fire being distinct and zappy, and power-ups and special attacks having gritty, gravelly voice samples. All the sounds add something unique to the game, and all enrich a feeling of sensory overload in the best possible way. Even the constant pew of your weapon is tuned so that it blends into the soundwall, a constant reminder of the flaming handshake you're extending to all of the new visitors. This is one of those games you are going to want to turn up.
Story
So, this game actually has a great deal of backstory, and a lot of it occurs along a pretty large timeline. I know this because I've seen materials that break down the story that aren't part of the game itself. Without these materials I wouldn't know this, because ingame, there are pilot bios and pages of lore that are unlocked through the same method as the credits and new ships. The problem is that most of this lore is locked behind a rather large number of points, and in the small pieces that you get, nothing really makes much sense without a larger understanding of the universe. To add further misfortune, the written passages in these pieces of backstory aren't very well written, including clumsy sentence structure and many spelling and punctuation errors. This unfortunate combo means that only hardcore players will ever get a true sense of the scale of the game's story, and of those, few will actually read what they've unlocked due to the hard to read writing style. It's a shame no one thought to proofread these bits of story, as I'm sure done correctly, they could have been a worthy addition to the rest of the game. Also, I think it was a sorely missed chance to include some concept art, or perhaps some special pieces of hand-drawn or digital art showcasing the game. Maybe some mockups of "unofficial boxart" or something...just thinking out loud here.
Remonstrations regarding the delivery of the story notwithstanding, the plot itself is another version of aliens invading earth, earth fighting back, and for some reason only being able to send one pilot to fight. Don't get me wrong, in shooterville, this is as good a reason as any to break out the lasers, and I welcome any permutation of this tale that happens to bubble forth. I especially welcome ones that put a greater emphasis on story, and even moreso if they focus on personal stories...those of the people fighting in the war. Unfortunately for ZDR, though I know their tale includes these delicious things, I cherish readability above much else, and if I can't read it, I can't love it. I hope they get some good proofreaders for their next outing.
Beer
I was originally going to review a different beer, and had already begun the process of play/drink with that brew when life became...busy...and some things had to be put on the backburner...including this article. Unfortunately, it stayed on the backburner longer than I had originally planned and fell by the wayside. I like to think of myself as rather witty; capable of snappy one-liners and astounding feats of worditude. I can also be rather stupid and forgetful, and it is with this in mind that I went back and played this again with a beer I believe is fitting. Stoopid Wit by the Lagunitas Brewing Company is a beer that is equal parts surprising, unusual, special, and dodgy. The label is sure to let you know this is a limited release, and once you delve into the brew a bit more, it becomes easy to see why. While the label is also adorned with a fair bit of capricious flavor-text, make no mistake; this brewery does not screw around when it comes to making beer, and they craft up a taste for nearly any palette. In the case of Stoopid Wit, that palette is cast in iron.Smell
The odor is rather grassy indeed, with a light hint of grain keeping the somewhat aggressive alcohol smell at bay. This is important for a number of reasons: first off--and we'll come back to this in a minute--this beer has an abv of 6.3%. Secondly, the clean smell of the grain complements and offsets the antiseptic smell of the alcohol, effectively taking it from isopropyl to something a bit more grounded. The smell is very bold, and seasoned beer drinkers will find a certain comfort in the fact that this smells nothing like a macrobrew, and will likely croon about it to anyone within earshot at the bar. One thing is for certain, if you need to wake someone up and can't slap them directly for legal reasons, one whiff of this is sure to achieve the same effect. And so we find ourselves at a rather familiar crossroads when dealing with microbrews. How far is too far? There is definitely a fine line that separates "bold and original" with "oh sweet Jesus no", and nowadays, skating that line seems to be a favorite game among breweries. One thing is definitely for certain, messing around in this particular strata of olfactory experimentation is not for amateurs, as turning any dial too far one way or the other is sure to throw everything off balance. Fortunately, Lagunitas has an odor that is unique, while not quite being a punch to the face.
Taste
The first taste of this is very much a punch to the face. If the smell is bold, the taste is a naked, oiled-up Macho Man Randy Savage screaming profanity while throwing curry powder at passerby. There's so many hops in this, if you poured it on a white man, he would suddenly be able to dunk on Jordan. Yeah, I went there, because so did Lagunitas. Don't get me wrong, if you are perhaps someone who also enjoys something from the Stone Brewing Co., this should be high up on your Christmas wishlist, as this basically packs the same type of sharp, barbed shot to the taste buds. Stoopid Wit is tangy and sour to a fault, and the aftertaste hangs around until long after it was welcome. After a few sips of this (which the flavor text on the bottle actually instructs you not to do...), the taste is no less powerful, but begins to take on a wooden quality as more and more taste buds succumb to the grassy, lemony assault. Also, as if everything else wasn't enough, there's a napalm-like streak of fermenty foam which will slide along your teeth, tying the taste, smell, and feel of this beer all into one horrifically accurate depiction of any scene from The Blob. Blob picks up leaves and twigs from the ground as it moves? Yes. Blob eats dirty, smelly wino sitting beside dumpster? Yes. Blob leaves disgusting remains which horrify onlookers? Yes. Particularly the morning after.
Intoxication
6.3 percent. A sneaky 6.3 percent. This is a beer that frankly ruins lives. From the moment you put this to your lips until the moment you pass out, Stoopid Wit is there, quietly putting a pillow over the faces of your brain cells and holding it there until you do something to embarrass yourself. Even after just the first couple of sips, you can feel the warmth spreading from your gut up to your brain, and before long, everything has taken on a comforting, fuzzy feel. This is crucial, as at the same time, Stoopid Wit is also going through your digestive system with a cutting torch. A feeling you will only truly appreciate the next morning, when the intoxication has worn off and all you're left with is reruns of The Blob. Yes, again...I went there, because Lagunitas went there, and if I have to suffer, so do you...Welcome to Games 'N Beer. At any rate, too much of this is like signing a contract with Satan, and sooner or later, Stoopid Wit and your 2AM Taco Bell run are going to show you that there was one circle of Hell Dante's Inferno left out. Have fun with that, and don't say I didn't warn you. Don't get me wrong, as long as the intoxication is there, it's wonderful. You won't care about anything, since the strength and speed of the intoxication will whisk all your fears away into a little box made of inhibition and bravado. Club bouncers love this little box, and will seize any chance to talk to you about it. Stoopid Wit: bringing people together for all the wrong reasons.
Feel
Well, I kind of showed my hand up above, but long story short, this beer will wreck you. Even aside from the intestinal torch, the fermenty foam, and the Blob references, this beer has the ability to simply feel heavy and overly filling. A large part of this is due to the composition of this, as it is most certainly unfiltered, and even through the brown glass of the bottle, sediment and particles can be seen floating in the beer. Normally, with a traditionally brewed beer or ale of this type, these "floaties" would be a welcome addition, as it indicates in most circumstances that this beer has been made with an older, unfiltered recipe, and has thus stood the test of time due to a superior taste or balance. With Stoopid Wit however, this sediment indicates something more sinister, perhaps more akin to a gator-infested swamp, or a boggy lake near a summer camp. Much like my two offhand examples, getting too close to Stoopid Wit will result in great personal discomfort. Unless you have personal discomfort in your list of Saturday night activities, steer clear of this stuff.
The Matchup
This was honestly a tough matchup, not only for the fact that it got unexpectedly put on hold and reworked a bit, but also because the game in question is a scoop of greatness with a bit of lint mixed in and the beer started exhausting my thesaurus of terrible words. In the case of Zenodyne R, it's a showcase of how small, poor design ideas can eclipse big, good ones, and how a solid framework and addicting gameplay can offset all but the largest issues. Mixed bags are fun, because you can see how things might be improved in subsequent games (or nowadays, in patches), and what kind of personality the game designer has. Both of these scenarios are fulfilling in their own right, and is part of what makes this game interesting. On the other hand, we had a perfect villain for a beer, and when something is bad enough to bring out the literary references, I usually have my work cut out for me. At any rate, with this pair, we certainly learned something, and whether we're talking about diamonds in the rough, or lumps of coal in our gut, we'll always come out the other side more enlightened.
Cheers/Game on.